Look,this is my school .      There are many cute chirdren.I go to shool every day.There are has Math class、English class and Chinese class。      Our teacher is very kind.They'll play games with us。The people here have a very, very like him。      Also，In our school the stage stood a large camphor tree，Its great，He stood there，Like the green guard that protects us。      In our school there are gardens, teaching buildings and other buildings.      Our school is really too wonderful for words。      Do you know our school's name？Let me tell you！Its name is the first primary school in Xingan County!

修改后：

   Look, this is my school.  There are many cute chirdren. I go to shool every day. I have math, English and Chinese class in my school.  Our teachers are very kind. They always play games with us. The students like them very much.  

  Our school is very big. There are gardens, teaching buildings and other buildings. There is a large camphor tree in our school. It is like a green guard that protects us. Our school is really beautiful.      

  Do you know our school's name？Let me tell you！Its name is NO. 1 primary school in Xingan County!

    五年級:黃香云

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