In the TV station of Paris, a little boy and his mother went in for very, very, very extremely important news, because one of their precious roofs had been stolen from some bandits that speak Spanish. The news reporters said that this could be very news worthy, and so he decided to report this on the news; and they should be on it too.

  When they were done, they checked it too, “And so today we have fresh news; and it was Spanish bandits, they stole one of our world’s most precious roofs. Who could these bandits be? And now we have the owner of the roof. [Giving the microphone to the boy’s mother].” “The bandits were as strange as any is, and they even have strange eyes like what France people have. Don’t you think that they were just the weirdest bandits ever, and I have also realized that one of the most important things or clues to catch bandits is to call the police and tell them what they look like and catch them; I just don’t know why they have to steal our most precious roofs; it was so strange and unbelievable.

  “I shall soon find out what this bandit is up to; oh wait a second, our world and Spanish had always been enemies; if they stole our roof, well they must stole it for some particular reason, and I think that they need the gold to make a magnificent gun; and so to get rid of us. Oh, and I think I hear an army coming towards us, and I think that we are doomed.”

  “Well that is today’s news and I hope that you have enjoyed it, and clear o say I hope that you don’t enjoy, but Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Help us think of a clear plan to defeat the Spanish army! Ah!”

  The news reporter was clearly afraid of what was being discovered by the woman and her child; the woman said, “Don’t worry; they still didn’t enter the America gate, I have a plan.” Then she grabbed one of the bravest soldiers and placed him in front of the gate wit which was the America gate, he said, “Welcome to our land, and I am pleased to say that we welcome you; and we have come to give you all of our jewels, if you leave us in piece.” “Well I guess that we could obey it,” they then took the fake paper jewels that was part of the plan, and left the real jewels of America in the castle asleep.

修改后 

 In the TV station of Paris, a little boy and his mother went in for very, very, very extremely important news, because one of their precious roofs had been stolen from some bandits that speak Spanish. The news reporters said that this could be very news worthy, and so he decided to report this on the news; and they should be on it too.

  When they were done, they checked it too, “And so today we have fresh news; and it was Spanish bandits, they stole one of our world’s most precious roofs. Who could these bandits be? And now we have the owner of the roof. [Giving the microphone to the boy’s mother].” “The bandits were as strange as any are, and they even have strange eyes like what French people have. Don’t you think that they were just the weirdest bandits ever, and I have also realized that one of the most important things or clues to catch bandits is to call the police and tell them what they look like and catch them; I just don’t know why they have to steal our most precious roofs; it was so strange and unbelievable.

  “I shall soon find out what this bandit is up to; oh wait a second, our world and Spain had always been enemies; if they stole our roof, well they must stole it for some particular reason, and I think that they need the gold to make a magnificent gun; and so to get rid of us. Oh, and I think I hear an army coming towards us, and I think that we are doomed.”

  “Well that is today’s news and I hope that you have enjoyed it, and clear o say I hope that you don’t enjoy, but Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Help us think of a clear plan to defeat the Spanish army! Ah!”

  The news reporter was clearly afraid of what was being discovered by the woman and her child; the woman said, “Don’t worry; they still didn’t enter the America gate, I have a plan.” Then she grabbed one of the bravest soldiers and placed him in front of the America gate, he said, “Welcome to our land, and I am pleased to say that we welcome you; and we have come to give you all of our jewels, if you leave us in peace.” “Well I guess that we could obey it,” they then took the fake paper jewels that was part of the plan, and left the real jewels of America in the castle asleep.

    四年級:歐陽雨鷺

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