My name is Xin. I'm eleven years old.I think I'm clever and beautiful.My hobby is play basketball.I like it, I can play basketball very well.There are four people in my family.They are my mother,my father,my bother and I.I like them and they loveme,we are very happy.I like friends.I have got lots of friends.We often do homework and play games on weekends.
This is me,do you like me?

修改后：
My name is Xin. I'm eleven years old. I think I'm clever and beautiful. My hobby is playing basketball. And I can play it very well. There are four people in my family. They are my mother, my father, my bother and I. I love them and they love me. We live a very happy life. I like making friends. So I have got lots of friends. We often do homework and play games together on weekends.
This is me, do you like me?

修改老師：Crystal 老師 

    六年級(jí):張汝昕

作文網(wǎng)專稿 未經(jīng)允許不得轉(zhuǎn)載