I   have   a   famliy.       They   are  my  father,my  mother  and  me.            My  father   is   a   doctor.  He  goes  to  work  by  bus. My  mother  is   a  factory   worker.  She  goes  to   work  by  bike.I  am   a   student.I  go  to  school  on  foot.

修改后：
I  have  a  happy famliy.  There are three people in my family. They   are  my  father, my  mother  and  me.  My  father   is   a   doctor.  He  goes  to  work  by  bus. My  mother  is   a  factory   worker.  She  goes  to   work  by  bike. I  am   a   student. I  go  to  school  on  foot. I love my family.

修改教師： Crystal老師

    六年級(jí):靜純

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