[學(xué)生習(xí)作A]
My hobby is read books①。When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good person.Books even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.
、俑臑閞eading books,動詞作表語時應(yīng)該用動名詞。
、赼lso的位置應(yīng)放在can之后。
[點(diǎn)評]:檔次9-11分。
①要點(diǎn)不全,漏掉最后一個要點(diǎn)。
、诰渥踊緹o誤,能正確傳遞信息給讀者但文章不流暢,句子與句子之間過渡不自然,給讀者感覺在回答上述問題。
、塾猩倭垮e誤。
[學(xué)生習(xí)作B]
My hobby is reading.Reading books is very enjoyable.When I was young ,my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every night.The stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t enough.So I began to read books by myself.Little by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.When I read books,I can enjoy the beautiful sentences.At the same time I can improve my writing.I want to be a writer in the future,so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.
、匍_門見山、點(diǎn)題。
、谡媲榱髀叮碛沙浞。
③文中帶圈的連詞使用得恰當(dāng),使文章過渡自然、
、芮擅钍褂镁湫鸵员頉Q心。
[點(diǎn)評]:檔次13-14分。
、偾宄磉_(dá)寫作目的,要點(diǎn)齊全。
、谡Z言表達(dá)靈活多樣,字里行間流露出真情實(shí)感,文章有感染力。
、矍‘(dāng)使用連詞和從句,語言流暢,且無錯誤,是一篇高質(zhì)量的作文。

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